Anyone who's been through a divorce knows that, put succinctly, IT SUCKS! Now I make this claim not because I miss my ex, but rather because he is...well, I cannot say the words and respect myself. I wonder if Hell holds a certain place for men who cannot keep it in their pants or even hold come semblence of a family together. Men who lie, cheat, steal other men's wives, mentally abuse and physically neglect their children, and then to put the cherry on top, lie through their rotten horse teeth about everything they've done.
Now I don't want anyone to misunderstand me and think I'm just an angry, bitter ex-basher, because I'm not. To be honest, I've exhibited some pretty extreme self-control over the last 9 years. I've turned myself inside out to always take the higher road, to never stoop to his level. Right now I'm feeling that enough is enough. How much can the camel's back take? Perhaps others out there (male or female) feel the same anguish as me. Yes, I said anguish.
It causes intense anguish when your ex manipulates, uses, brainwashes, coerces, blackmails, torments and emotionally abandons your children. You feel helpless to make that person stop their irrational and seriously disordered behavior. After all, you cannot make them get that badly needed psychotherapy.
So, the part about divorce that sucks is not that you're escaping from a toxic, emotional vampire. For that I say THANK GOODNESS! What sucks is that it hurts your children, and sometimes beyond repair.
That is the tragic legacy of divorce...
If anyone happens to be reading this and is skeptical about her claim that she is not an "angry, bitter ex-basher", rest assured that as someone who knows the parties involved, she isn't. Her ex is one of those people who can really draw you in, and even when he is taking advantage of and manipulating you, you don't really see it for a long time. I consider myself to be an intelligent person, and was surprised by just how much I had been taken in by him. So it is not just his family that he has been doing this sort of thing to. It is extremely sad and unfortunate.
ReplyDeleteHowever, in my view, divorce is awful even if you don't have feelings like these toward your former spouse. I have learned so much from my own experience in this regard, and if God chooses to bless me in that way again, I believe that I will be a much better person for what I've been through already.
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ReplyDeleteok.. I wrote something because I could totally relate to all of this written... buf for some reason it ended up posting weird.. and now it is all gone... but in short, yes, too bad for the children! ((hugs))
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